Will I Ever Find Love? 20 Things That Will Bring You Back Your Peace of Mind

Self-awareness
06 Jul 2023
16 min read
Will I Ever Find Love, or Am I Just Searching in a Wrong Place?

Will I ever find love? The very question evokes icky feelings. It sucks to be alone, especially when everyone around you seems to be in a romantic relationship. It can feel as if you are the only person who can’t find a partner and make it work. You wonder if you are unlovable, or if it simply isn’t meant to be. If you are like many people, you might cope with your loneliness by indulging a dark sense of humor about it, or bounce from one situationship to another.

Although things seem hopeless now, the old adage is true – there is a right person for everybody. Hopefully, these bits of advice and encouragement will help you find the kind of meaningful romantic love you crave. Read on to stop your single life and experience those intense feelings you dream about!

Here is the best place to start your love search
Here is the best place to start your love search

Hily is a dating app with an audience of over 26 million users. Sign up today and meet like-minded people with the same relationship goals!

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1. Romantic Love Defies Planning

When you ask, “Will I ever find love?”, you really mean, “Will I ever find love on my timeline?”. That’s understandable – but that’s your desire to control life, not genuine interest in a new life adventure.

Some people are planners. They have a linear plan with their desires for education, career, family, and love life. But love despises plans and control.

Don’t be rigid and deny yourself the possibility of a romantic relationship simply because you think the timing is off. Love will find its way to you when you’re ready to welcome it.

Related reading: When You Love Someone – Do You Really Know?

2. Stop Romanticizing Romance

Let go of the unrealistic expectations – love takes work, and relationships are hard. People who enjoy true love make an effort to find and keep the relationships they want. This starts with working on themselves.

If you are a hot mess, you aren’t going to attract a great relationship. No prince or princess is out there to rescue you, and true love doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. Just know that the right person and the right relationship are worth the effort.

Related reading: A Guide to Growing an Exclusive Relationship

3. Know When to Take a Break From Pursuing “The One”

The pursuit of the ideal relationship can be mentally exhausting. When you are in the midst of dating, meeting people, and breaking up, it’s no exaggeration to say your heart can take a beating. So can your self-esteem.

Remember that this process is supposed to be fun. That isn’t to say that there will never be heartache or disappointment. That is part of it, but be careful that it doesn’t begin to affect your mental health. When you stop getting any joy out of dating, it’s time to take a break. Focus on your connections with friends and family members for a while. Your romantic life will always be waiting for you.

4. Move on When It Is Wrong

Don’t miss out on your chance at a long-term relationship because you keep holding on to something that isn’t meant to be. The person you are with right now may be a great human being. That doesn’t mean they are destined to be your life partner. You deserve a loving relationship that fits like a glove, and so do they!

When you ask, "Will I ever find love?", don't overrationalize things

5. Avoid Analysis Paralysis

Are you getting in your own way as you search for a happy relationship? You might be if you are overthinking everything. Be smart and thoughtful, but don’t belabor every thought or feeling. If you have feelings for someone, go for it! Stop wasting time analyzing the situation to death.

6. Playing Games Ruins Healthy Relationships

There are a lot of so-called relationship experts who will advise you to play little psychological games with potential partners. You may have been told to insult or “neg” people when you first meet them. This is to make them desperate for your approval. Another common tactic is to have a friend flirt with a potential partner to see if they will cheat.

If you are tempted to play little games to test relationships or gain the upper hand, make sure you do that being committed to a healthy relationship. Mature, lasting relationships are built on trust. If you find love, don’t ruin it by playing manipulative games or engaging in social experiments.

Related reading: How to Play Hard to Get

7. You Can Find a Romantic Relationship at Any Age

It’s never too late to begin a solid relationship that lasts. The idea that you are too old to be desirable is simply ridiculous. You deserve love. More importantly, there are people out there who find you attractive, and who are actively seeking someone like you.

It’s important to understand this for two reasons. First, don’t give up on love. Second, don’t let impatience or desperation lead you to make bad decisions in your romantic relationships. Just remain true to yourself, and all the rest will come to you.

8. Be Your Own Best Supporter

You have to believe in yourself in order to find true love. The ideal partner isn’t looking for someone who is uncomfortable in their own skin. It’s so important that you are able to advocate for yourself, set boundaries, and know that you deserve the very best.

If you have had a traumatic past where love is concerned, it’s time to deal with this. Talk to a therapist or enlist the help of a relationship coach.

9. Release Your Bitterness

You may be reading this because at least one previous relationship has left you deeply disappointed. That’s fine, but be careful that you don’t become bitter over your past traumas.

You can’t hold onto those emotions and be a good partner for someone else. Nobody wants to be punished for their past relationships. It’s time to get over it, and you can get over it.

10. Put Physical Attractiveness Into Perspective

There is nothing wrong with having preferences about physical appearance. Everybody does. However, your expectations about physical attractiveness can become problematic if they:

  • Are unrealistic
  • Hold others to expectations you can’t meet yourself
  • Label entire groups of people as unworthy of dating

If you are in your thirties rejecting people over gray hair or a few extra pounds while showing signs of your own age, it’s time to rethink your unrealistic expectations of others. You could be denying yourself the company of someone amazing because you are too focused on looks.

11. Actively Pursue Romantic Relationships

There may be a few, lucky people who have love fall into their laps. But most people have to work for it. Chances are, you will too. Your next relationship isn’t simply going to happen. You have to get out there and do things to make it happen.

Finding love is an activity. It isn’t passive.

So, get out there and make yourself available. Take part in social groups online and in your community. Pursue hobbies and interests. Attend activities for people looking for the perfect match such as singles nights or speed dating events.

Here is the best place to start your love search
Here is the best place to start your love search

Hily is a dating app with an audience of over 26 million users. Sign up today and meet like-minded people with the same relationship goals!

Install Hily now

12. Enjoy Life and the Process of Finding a Romantic Partner

People tend to be attracted to fun and positivity. The old saying, ‘Laugh and the whole world will laugh with you‘ is true!

So don’t become so serious about your pursuit of profound love. Enjoy your life instead! A date can be fun, even if you realize the person isn’t going to be your romantic partner. You can enjoy going out with friends in hopes of meeting people and having an amazing time, even if you don’t achieve your goal of getting a date.

You’re going to encounter bad luck in your romantic life. Everybody does. Just remain open to new experiences, friendships, and romance. Even if you want to be attached, single life can be plenty of fun.

13. Stop Worrying So Much

It isn’t good for your mental health to constantly worry about your relationship status. Romantic love is an important part of life, but it isn’t your entire life. You need to work to find the love you deserve.

However, that doesn’t mean you need to worry and fret over your romantic life all of the time. As long as you are putting yourself out there, and treating people well, you will achieve your dream of finding love.

14. Be a Giving Partner

Are you a good partner? What would your exes say about you? It’s important that you behave ethically and avoid being selfish in your relationships. If nothing else, remember that word travels.

If your previous partners feel as if you mistreated them, they are likely to talk about that with others. You could develop a reputation that causes people to avoid you.

More importantly, if you use people, cheat, or are otherwise “sketchy,” that is a pretty clear sign that you aren’t at a good place in your life. Finding love should be the last thing on your mind. Instead, consider reviewing your failed relationships. Work on becoming a healthy person, and then focus on finding love.

Related reading: Setting Relationship Rules for a Healthy Partnership

15. Embrace Technology

So much dating and romance is happening through the use of modern technology. More than ever, people are using dating apps, communicating over video, and meeting people thanks to social media. You may be able to find true love without technology. However, it’s going to be difficult.

Are you a technophobe? That’s something you may need to work on. What if the love of your life is waiting on an app or social media platform that you’ve been avoiding?

Try Hily!
Try Hily!

Hily is an easy and intuitive online dating app where millions of users have already found a relationship. It’s a perfect platform to start searching for love today!

Get Hily

16. Don’t Settle Out of Fear

There is a common belief that if you don’t enter a long-term committed relationship, you will never be a complete person. Or if you don’t get with anybody by a certain age, you will be alone forever. But these stereotypes can cause many people to settle for someone out of fear of loneliness.

Everyone deserves love, and everyone will find it when the time is right for them. It is of utmost importance that you understand that there are many unrealistic expectations when it comes to finding true love. With over 7 billion people in the world do you really think you’re guaranteed to find true love by the time you are 25 years old?

Remember: when you settle for someone out of fear, you risk going your whole life without getting with the person you are meant to be with. No matter what your age, you should always be with someone you truly love. And true love needs internal freedom.

17. Embrace That You Can Have a Great Life Without a Partner

Everyone can find love. But that doesn’t mean that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to have a great life. Love comes in all kinds of packages, and if you want an honest answer for when you will find love, you can find it everywhere. It’s all locked inside of you.

Your friend’s relationship with you is one type of love that can lead to a great life. Practicing self-love and spiritual connection can help with mental health issues that may plague you.

Love is everywhere and you can find it and have a good life without needing to add romance into the mix. You already have it – in love from family members, love from the things you do, and love from your pets. And you can get even more.

18. Practice Self-Love and Self-Care

A common opinion you might hear from a relationship coach is that you cannot find love until you love yourself. This is often translated to people, as you don’t deserve to experience love unless you love yourself. But the truth is simpler than that – you deserve love, but you also deserve to be able to love yourself.

Think of all the things you love about yourself, all the attributes you have, all the wonderful talents that make you a great person. Take good care of yourself. Eat lots of healthy foods, treat yourself on occasion, and make sure to keep some free time to yourself as well.

Not everyone is going to be able to do self-love in the same way, but if you work at it, you may find the best way that works for you.

19. You Can’t Make the Wrong Person the Right Person

No matter what you do and how you feel, you can never make that wrong person into the one if this person doesn’t want it. If you are on this journey to find love with someone who just isn’t able to love you back, you need to accept that you can’t force it.

Whether that person makes you feel negative emotions, is emotionally unavailable to you, or just seems to clash with you on everything.

When you start online dating, you may end up meeting at least a dozen wrong people for you before you find the right now. If you feel negative emotions or meet an emotionally unavailable person, don’t settle for that. You may end up in the wrong place in the future.

Just be patient in your journey to finding love. There is no such thing as a real love life when feelings are forced.

Related reading: Right Person Wrong Time – It is Really All About Timing

20. Get Help Making a Connection

When you want to find love, get to connect with others. People tend to enter relationships with people they already know and have a strong connection with.

Joining groups, going to meetups, and entering dating sites is a great way to make friends or more. Finding love is not always a straight path – there are often times when you may find yourself in a cycle of heartbreak before you find the one. Making connections helps you to exude confidence in your abilities to find love and helps you break away from the cycle as well.

Top 6 Questions About Finding Love

When you are finding love for yourself you may find yourself in certain scenarios that may lead you to question everything about the romance you are in. These are some of the more common questions we see from people trying to find love, and our answers for them.

1. Where can I find love?

When you want to know where you can find love, look everywhere. For example, online dating apps make it easy for you to connect all over the world. Also, the friends you may make while working are another potential for romance. Even your own friend circle has potential in that area! So for real, love is everywhere.

Love is experienced by everyone on some level. Even if you don’t feel romantic feelings for everyone, you will be able to find love almost anywhere you can think of.

2. How can I tell if I’m in a ‘right person wrong time’ relationship?

The answer depends on how you see such a relationship and where you are in yours. If you find yourself in the right person wrong time relationship, find your answers to these questions:

  • Do you think about them a lot?
  • Are the reasons for your breakups logical or spontaneous?
  • Do you break up because you need to move far away and don’t see a reason to continue the relationship?
  • Or do you break up out of fear?
  • Do you feel jealous if they are with someone else?

If you are in search and find yourself among different relationships, stray from the path that is best for you. As you go through this process, you may end up finding love and leaving it a few times. That’s totally fine – just keep searching until you figure out your feelings and experience real love.

3. What is the best method to find real love?

There is no one size fits all method to finding romance. Just keep trying to find it. Here are some things you can do:

  • Make connections wherever you can
  • Take care of yourself
  • Go to therapy to ensure you’re not confusing love with lust or attachment
  • Find a new hobby
  • Travel

Whatever you choose, just let love happen. All you need is to let it find you.

4. How many chances should I give a person?

The exact number of chances depends on how comfortable you are. Ask yourself how many chances you are willing to give them. Some people only allow a person a single chance, and some give way more than what a person deserves.

If you want a round number of chances to give a person, it’s like in most sports. Three is probably the most reasonable number. So long as the chances don’t relate to things like infidelity.

Related reading: Need to Catch a Cheater? Here Are the Ways to Do It!

5. What should I do if I find myself in a bad position in the relationship?

This honestly depends on what you may mean by a bad position. If the bad position relates to something like a disagreement, you should respectfully talk it out with the other person.

However, if the bad position refers to something like abuse or finding out that you are an affair partner, we suggest ending the relationship as best as you can.

6. What is the difference between a twin flame and a soul mate?

These are two things that are often very much confused:

  • Your twin flame is often just like you in terms of personality and brightness. You both fuel each other intensely and don’t gain or lose anything from your relationship.
  • Your soul mate is a flame that can vary from your own. They may have a different personality, or they may have different likes from you. But when you are with them, your flames support each other. There are times when your flame burns brightest and times when their flame burns brightest. But each time support each other.

Related reading: 17 Weird Soulmate Signs – Is It Meant to Be?

Enjoy Dating And Socializing: That’s What’s Most Important

It’s perfectly normal to want to meet a great person and fall in love. It may seem as though that will never happen to you. In truth, love is a possibility for everyone. That includes you. Meanwhile, get out there and enjoy the journey of finding someone to love.

Love&Sex Expert
Cherie Hamilton
I’ve always been inspired by women who are outgoing, very sure of themselves, and not afraid to be who they were, including their sex lives. Under their tutelage, I gradually shed my old self, hung out and socialized with them, and, over time, became the empowered, self-confident, and sexual woman I am today. Happy to share my insights with other women today!
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