What are the Signs of Disrespect in a Relationship and How To Handle It

Sometimes, people in relationships can sense that something is wrong, but can’t quite put a finger on it. Maybe your partner makes jokes at your expense, or they never seem to take your concerns seriously. If you experience these things, these could be signs of disrespect in a relationship.

Disrespect in relationships isn’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes it shows through small comments, eye rolls, or broken promises. Knowing the signs of disrespect can help you protect your emotional well-being and decide what you want to do next.

Let’s break down what disrespect actually looks like, the warning signs to watch for and how you can handle it if it’s happening to you.

What Does Disrespect in a Relationship Look Like?

Disrespect doesn’t always show up as yelling or name-calling. Sometimes it’s quieter. It might be the way they talk over you during conversations or how they dismiss your ideas without even thinking about them. Other times, it’s more obvious, like when they embarrass you in front of friends or constantly criticize the things you do.

Disrespect can start small, a little joke here, a comment there. But over time, those seemingly small things add up and chip away at your self-esteem and the relationship. You might start second-guessing yourself or feeling like you’re walking on eggshells in this disrespectful relationship.

This is why it is important to recognize these patterns early. Because once you notice signs of disrespectful behavior, you can decide whether to address them or walk away. Either way, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

Related reading: 14 Red Flags in Your New Male Squeeze

12 Signs of Disrespect in a Relationship

So what are the actual signs you should look out for? Here are some of the most common ways disrespect shows up in relationships:

1. Dismissive Communication: Dismissing Your Feelings or Opinions

You and your partner should be able to talk about your opinions or things that are bothering you in a healthy relationship. Both people listen to each other, even when they don’t fully understand or agree.

Pay attention if your partner shuts you down instead of listening and trying to understand your perspective when you’re trying to communicate. If they say things like “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that serious,” you might start feeling like your emotions don’t count. This form of dismissive communication can make you feel disrespected and question your own inner compass.

That’s dismissive behavior and it’s quite disrespectful. This type of interaction chips away at mutual understanding in the relationship.

2. Public Humiliation or Making Fun

Does your partner make fun of you in front of other people? Maybe they joke about something you’re insecure about or share embarrassing stories without your permission. Even if they say “I’m just joking,” it doesn’t feel funny when you’re the person being laughed at. This is considered disrespectful behavior and a clear sign of a lack of respect.

Public humiliation is a huge sign of disrespect. Your partner should build you up, not tear you down, especially not in front of others. If they’re doing this, they’re prioritizing a laugh over your dignity and creating a toxic environment where you cannot feel safe.

3. Constant Criticism

Nobody’s perfect, and constructive feedback can actually be helpful. But there’s a difference between helpful advice and constant criticism. If your partner always points out what you’re doing wrong and rarely acknowledges what you’re doing right, that’s a problem.

Constant criticism makes you feel like you can never do anything good enough. Over time, it can damage your self-esteem and self-confidence, making you doubt yourself. A loving relationship should celebrate your wins and support you when you stumble, not make you feel bad about every little thing. If your partner consistently undermines your confidence through constant criticism, that’s a sign that mutual respect is lacking in the relationship.

4. Breaking Promises and Commitments

Trust is built on follow-through. When your partner keeps breaking promises, whether it’s showing up late, forgetting important dates, or backing out of plans, it sends a message that your time and feelings aren’t important to them. Broken promises erode trust in any romantic relationship.

Sure, life happens and plans change sometimes. But if it’s a pattern, that’s disrespect. It shows they don’t value you enough to keep their word, and there may be very little hope for building a relationship built on trust.

5. Invasion of Privacy and Personal Space

Going through your phone without permission, reading your messages, or demanding to know where you are at all times: these are all invasions of privacy. Healthy relationships are built on trust, and if your partner cannot trust you, well, maybe they shouldn’t be with you. Respecting personal space is essential to maintaining a healthy dynamic.

If your partner doesn’t respect your privacy, they’re crossing a major boundary. You’re allowed to have your own space, your own conversations and your own life outside the relationship. Needing constant access to everything you do isn’t love; it’s control. Everyone has an inner world that deserves respect, and invading that space is one of the common signs of a disrespectful relationship.

Related reading: Boundaries in Relationships—Keeping Them Healthy

6. Name Calling and Insults

There can never be an excuse for name-calling in a relationship. Calling you stupid, lazy, annoying, or anything else that tears you down is verbal abuse. Even if they apologize later or say they didn’t mean it, those words stick. This form of emotional abuse has lasting impacts.

Name-calling is just as harmful as it is disrespectful. It chips away at your sense of self-worth and can leave emotional scars that take a long time to heal. You deserve someone who speaks to you with kindness, even when they’re upset. This abusive behavior has no place in a respectful relationship.

7. Controlling Behavior and Making Decisions Without You

Does your partner try to control who you hang out with, what you wear, or how you spend your time? Do they get mad when you make plans without them or guilt-trip you for wanting independence? When one partner takes over making decisions for both people in the relationship, it creates a power imbalance.

Control is one of the clearest signs of disrespect in a relationship. Your partner should trust you and respect your autonomy. Trying to control your life is possessive and unhealthy, not protective or caring. This behavior often involves inserting themselves into every aspect of your partner’s life and using guilt trips to maintain control.

8. Passive Aggressive Behavior: Refusing to Communicate

Communication is everything in relationships. So when your partner shuts down, gives you the silent treatment, or refuses to talk about problems, it creates a wall between you two. The silent treatment is a form of passive-aggressive behavior that many disrespectful people use.

Refusing to communicate is a form of emotional manipulation. It leaves you feeling confused and alone. A respectful partner will talk things through with you, even when it’s uncomfortable. Passive aggression and avoiding open communication prevent the mutual understanding necessary for a healthy relationship.

9. Lack of Support in Your Partner’s Life

Your partner should be one of your biggest cheerleaders. If they’re not celebrating your wins, supporting your goals, or showing up when you need them, that’s a sign something’s off. Being involved in your partner’s life in supportive ways is a way to ensure mutual respect.

Maybe you got a promotion and they barely acknowledge it. Or you’re going through a tough time and they seem annoyed by your feelings. A lack of support and absence of care for your overall well-being is a red flag.

10. Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation

Gaslighting is when your partner makes you question your own reality. They might deny saying something hurtful, twist the story to make you look like the bad guy, or convince you that your memory is wrong. This emotional manipulation is particularly damaging.

This is one of the most damaging forms of disrespect because it messes with your head and your mental health. You start doubting yourself and wondering if you’re the problem. But gaslighting is a manipulation tactic and it’s never okay. It can make you feel unsafe in your own relationship.

“When you don’t take responsibility for your actions, or deflect responsibility, or try to undermine the credibility of the person asking you about your actions, that’s gaslighting.”

Dr. Robin Stern, psychologist and author of The Gaslight Effect

11. Ignoring Boundaries: Disregarding What You’ve Asked For

You’ve told your partner what makes you uncomfortable, but they keep doing it anyway. Maybe you’ve asked them not to bring up certain topics around your family members, but they do it anyway. Or you’ve said you need alone time, but they constantly push back. Ignoring boundaries is a serious violation of respect.

When someone disregards your boundaries, they’re telling you that what they want matters more than what you need. Boundaries are non-negotiable. A respectful partner will honor them without making you feel guilty. When you’ve set boundaries clearly and a partner refuses to honor them, that’s a major red flag.

12. Comparing You Unfavorably to Others

“Why can’t you be more like my ex?” or “My friend’s partner would never do that.” Comparisons like these are hurtful and unnecessary. They can make you feel like you’re not good enough and that you’re constantly competing with someone else. These sarcastic comments and comparisons show disregard for your significant other’s feelings.

Your partner chose to be with you, not someone else. If they’re always comparing you to other people, it shows they don’t appreciate who you are. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not someone who wishes you were different. This behavior can cause you to lose respect for yourself and the relationship.

How To Handle Disrespect in a Relationship

Spotting the signs of disrespect in a relationship is one thing. But what do you actually do about it? Here are some ways to handle it.

• Talk to your partner directly: Sometimes people don’t realize they’re being disrespectful. Sit down with your partner and explain how their behavior makes you feel. Use “I” statements like “I feel hurt when you dismiss my opinions” instead of “You always ignore me.” This keeps the conversation focused on feelings, not blame.
• Set clear boundaries: Let your partner know what you will and won’t tolerate. Be specific. If they keep breaking those boundaries, that tells you a lot about how much they respect you.
• Pay attention to their response: Do they apologize and actually change their behavior? Or do they get defensive, make excuses, or keep doing the same thing? Their response will show you whether they’re willing to work on things or not.
• Don’t ignore your gut: If something feels wrong, trust that instinct. You know yourself and your relationship better than anyone else. Don’t let someone convince you that your feelings aren’t valid.
• Consider talking to a professional: A therapist or counselor can help you sort through your feelings and figure out the best next steps. They can also help you and your partner work through issues together if both of you are willing.
• Know when to walk away: Not every relationship can be saved and that’s okay. If your partner refuses to change, continues to disrespect you, or if the relationship is affecting your mental health, it might be time to leave. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, kindness and care. Don’t settle for less just because you’re scared of being alone or because you’ve invested time in the relationship. Your happiness and well-being come first.
• Lean on your support system: Talk to friends, family, or people you trust. They can give you perspective and remind you of your worth when you’re feeling low. Sometimes just hearing “You don’t deserve that” from someone who cares about you can make all the difference.
• Work on yourself, too: Focus on building your confidence and self-worth outside of the relationship. Pick up hobbies you love, spend time with people who make you feel good and remind yourself of all the things that make you amazing. The stronger you feel in yourself, the easier it is to recognize when someone isn’t treating you right.
• Give yourself time: Healing from disrespect may take time, whether you stay in the relationship and work through it or decide to leave. Be patient with yourself. You’re allowed to feel hurt, angry, confused, or anything else that comes up. Processing your emotions is part of moving forward.

Remember this: if you notice that you’re being disrespected in your relationship, this doesn’t mean you’re weak or dramatic. It makes you self-aware and brave. It means you’re paying attention to how you’re being treated and choosing not to ignore it. That’s important in every relationship.

Related reading: 14 Signs You Should Break Up and 12 Signs You Should Stay With Your Partner