Understanding Lovesickness: Symptoms and Effective Coping Strategies
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by love that it starts affecting your body and mind? Maybe you spend hours dreaming about someone special, and your feelings feel impossible to ignore. This is often called lovesickness, an emotional state that many people experience when they get deeply emotionally attached, whether or not the feelings are reciprocated.
Lovesickness is when strong feelings overpower your mind and body, making you feel sick and emotionally overwhelmed. It’s a love experience that can cause depression, anxiety and even grief if things don’t turn out the way you expected. But don’t worry, there are ways to overcome the symptoms and find calm in your life again.
“Lovesickness describes the intense emotional and physical experiences associated with romantic love. The symptoms resemble those of a physical illness because of the profound links between the mind and body.” You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you feel depressed and the thought of doing anything other than crying in bed and watching romantic movies seems impossible. Sound familiar?”
Sarah Hill, PhD, research psychologist and consultant specializing in women’s health and sexual psychology
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What Exactly Is Lovesickness?
Experiencing lovesickness is more than just having feelings for someone. It is a real emotional state characterized by deep longing, sadness and obsession. When you experience lovesickness, your body reacts in ways like an increased heart rate, sleep difficulty and loss of energy. These lovesick symptoms can make you feel depressed and physically ill, with some people describing feeling like they’re broken or grieving.
Pareen Sehat, a registered clinical counselor in Vancouver, Canada, shares that experiencing lovesickness could look like this:
“You’re so heartbroken that it interferes with your regular routine and prevents you from accomplishing important things. You feel incredibly vulnerable and weak to the point that it begins to impact your physical health.”
Research shows that lovesick people often go through extended periods of mood swings and emotional struggles, especially when the love is unrequited or when a romantic relationship ends abruptly. During these moments, feelings of longing and loss can be so overwhelming that they affect your mental health.
Understanding Unrequited Love
Unrequited love is one of the most painful forms of lovesickness. It occurs when your feelings aren’t returned, leaving you feeling rejected, invisible, and often heartbroken. This kind of love drains you and can intensify sadness, insecurity, and grief. It’s important to remember that someone else’s feelings don’t determine your worth. While unrequited love can feel overwhelming, accepting this reality is the first step toward healing. Focusing on self-awareness and personal growth can help you overcome this pain, gradually opening your heart to new possibilities.
Recognizing the Symptoms of Lovesickness
If you have ever wondered whether you are experiencing lovesickness, here are some common signs and symptoms to watch for:
Physical Symptoms of Lovesickness
- Increased heart rate or pounding heart
- Insomnia or trouble sleeping, feeling restless at night
- Loss of energy or feeling physically ill (in this case, it’s best to call your doctor)
- Nausea or dizziness
- Uncomfortable feeling in the chest or stomach
Emotional and Mental Lovesick Symptoms
- Deep sadness and profound grief after a breakup
- Nervousness or feeling gloomy for extended periods, missing them
- Intense longing for someone who doesn’t love you back
- Difficulty focusing on work or being productive
- Obsessively thinking about the person, missing them or stalking their social media, when they are not around anymore
- Feelings of insecurity and inability to forget the love burden
Behavioral Changes
- Isolation or avoiding friends and family
- Abandoning hobbies or activities that once brought joy
- Over- or under-eating or eating for comfort
- Sharing your thoughts about love all the time or obsessively
- Experiencing violent mood swings or deep emotional reactions
Related reading: Fascinating Facts About Love That Will Change Your Perspective
Zoë Crabtree spoke with women about their personal experiences of strong feelings of love and longing. One story, in particular, really shows how lovesickness can affect a person:
“You obsessively critique yourself and also obsessively think about all of the interactions that you want to have with that person and fantasize about that like ‘Oh, we’re going to have this conversation; I’m going to say this and they’re going to say that and it’s going to be great and I’m going to laugh’… besides fantasies about what you wish would happen, also going through interactions that you already have had and changing them into what you wish you said as opposed to completely fictional fantasies… thinking about mistakes that you’ve made with a person and trying to like rewrite it you know with all the things that you should have said… I think that makes people sick, those kinds of flashbacks make people sick…
The ‘should-haves’ of life make a lovesick person broken-hearted.”
‘Violet’, interviewed by Zoë Crabtree
Causes of Lovesickness
Lovesickness can stem from unreciprocated feelings or from intense emotions that develop after falling deeply for someone. Lovesickness can also influence a person after a breakup or the death of a loved one, especially if the heartache lingers for a long time.
Lovesick feelings can last for months, sometimes even years, especially if limits are ignored or if you’re stuck in grief. When lovesick people find it hard to get over these feelings, it’s normal to wonder if what they’re going through is common.
How To Deal With Lovesickness Effectively
The good news? You can study strategies to cope with lovesickness symptoms and get your life back on track. Here are some helpful tips for those who are lovesick:
1. Recognize and Accept Your Feelings
It’s really important to understand that lovesickness is a normal response to deep emotions. When feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to accept that these feelings are part of being human — it’s a natural reaction to love and longing. Being honest with yourself about what you’re experiencing can help create a clearer perspective and start the healing process.
Trying to ignore or suppress these feelings often makes things worse. Instead, acknowledge that feeling sad, anxious or intensely desiring doesn’t mean you’re weak or doing something wrong.
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2. Practice Self-Care and Focus on Your Well-Being
When you’re feeling lovesick, it’s easy to stop taking care of yourself. Looking after your health is crucial to overcoming lovesickness. Try to establish some healthy boundaries with your emotions and make self-nurture a priority. This could include getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods and engaging in activities that bring joy — like a new hobby or exercise.
Related reading: How to Know Your Worth
Focusing on yourself and your mental health can help reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. Remember, feeling happy isn’t just about your relationship but your overall well-being.
3. Limit Contact and Give Yourself Space
One of the best practices for managing lovesickness is to limit contact with the person you miss or obsess over. This doesn’t mean cutting off completely, but creating space to think and heal. Avoid scrolling through a loved one’s social media or talking about them constantly — these behaviors affect your emotions.
Taking care of your mental health involves absolute sincerity — recognizing the need for distance so you can see the bigger picture and calm your mind.
4. Discuss Your Feelings
Sharing your emotions with trusted friends or family can lighten the burden. You don’t have to go through the lovesickness alone. Sometimes, just talking about your relationships helps relieve intensity, broken heart and pain. A therapist or a mental health professional can also provide support and help you manage lovesickness symptoms more effectively.
“Human beings need a witness to their life, so it can be helpful to find someone who can sit with you in your worth, who can be there for you if you wanted to talk or not talk. Having a person to care for you and your emotions through your difficulty can be really healing.”
5. Focus on Other Aspects of Your Life
Redirect your lovesick energy toward personal goals or new projects. Whether it’s focusing on your career, studies or family, it can help break the cycle of constant longing. Focusing on what’s next provides a rational view and reminds you that love isn’t the only source of joy.
6. Practice Mindfulness and Be Present
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to manage intense feelings. Taking a few minutes daily to breathe deeply or observe your thoughts without judgment can quiet your mind. This helps reduce stress and emotional overload, making lovesick feelings easier to handle.
Related reading: Step Into Your Spiritual Awakening Path
7. Remind Yourself of Your Worth
Many lovesick people tend to feel insecure or doubt themselves. Reminding yourself of your worth and value can strengthen your sense of self. Recognize that real love begins with loving yourself first. Even if feelings of sadness or grief still linger, your emotions do not define you.
Related reading: How to Be the Hottest Version of Yourself
8. Seek Support from a Therapist or Professional
If lovesickness leads to severe depression or sleep problems through the broken heart, don’t hesitate to reach out to mental health professionals. A therapist can help a lovesick person see their feelings from a new perspective and learn effective coping strategies. Looking after yourself at this point is important — you’re not alone.
9. Give Yourself Time After Being Lovesick
Healing from lovesickness begins with patience. Expect that it won’t disappear overnight. Time spent focusing on yourself and your goals will help you get through the pain. Every moment you choose self-care, honesty and boundaries leads to a calmer state.
“The most important step to get over lovesickness and a broken heart is distracting a person’s mind. Picking up a new hobby, exercising and focusing on your daily responsibilities are fantastic ways to get your loved one out of your head. Experts also recommend avoiding that person as much as possible and taking care of your sexual urges whenever possible.”
Your Journey Toward Healing
Experiencing lovesickness can be an overwhelming struggle, filled with intensity and deep feelings that can influence your state of mind for longer periods. Feeling sad or anxious is a normal part of the process after being lovesick.
Remember, love isn’t supposed to break your heart or leave you feeling empty and lost. Embracing self-care, setting boundaries and seeking support from friends, relatives or mental health professionals are powerful tools to help you overcome lovesickness symptoms.
Time is your ally in this journey. With patience and openness, you will realize that the feelings of intensity and longing will fade. You’ll find that you can feel good again, with a new sense of perspective and strength.
Lovesickness doesn’t define your self — it’s a chapter that you can move through. Look after yourself. Trust that love in all its forms — including self-love — will return to you in time.
