After a devastating relationship breakup, I threw myself into the dating scene by registering on Hily. I had over 100 dates - some absolute disasters, some pretty average, and some that were actually great. So many stories to tell and insights to share with you guys!
Top First Date Tips to Get a Second Date
The first date is one of the most important moments in your relationship. Like a first job interview, it opens the door to an official relationship with someone you like so much. But just like that interview, there are so many ways it can go wrong… But not with our first date tips!
You can make that thing going wrong a great story in the future, but everyone wants to have a successful first date and not invent any fairytales about their failures. And if you want to succeed, you should take some of our favorite pieces of first-date advice and tips! Let’s see what we’ve got for you.
8 First Date Tips To Have Amazing Time Together
Don’t feel bad about looking up first-date tips. After all, it’s the very first step into any potential relationship, so it’s OK to be a bit nervous. Keep positive – and let us be your wingman on that first date. Just a few tips from us will make the difference between a great time and a less-than-fun time for you!
![Top first date tips: don't limit yourself to a restaurants and movies!](https://images.surferseo.art/ea610d73-9323-4517-8f74-3adb0533de81.jpeg)
1. Be Creative About the Place
What is an actual date? Going to a restaurant or to the movies are among the most obvious date ideas that can come to your mind as an answer. These stereotypes are so powerful that you may even feel inclined to go there – and make one of the biggest mistakes on that first date. Because this way, you’ll miss the chance to show how special you are.
Of course, you should put your best foot forward during a first date – but those first-date ideas don’t need to be so limited. A date looking around the bookstore and going to a coffee shop is just as valid as one where you go to a 4-star restaurant and head to the movies. As long as you do something you both enjoy, you will have a successful first date.
Here are some alternative places you can go for a first date.
The Local Bar
If you are going to start dating someone who has lived in one area their entire life, it may not be a good idea to force them into doing things that they are unfamiliar with. This is why bars and other local establishments can be a great first date option. You can even get ideas of what looks good by letting your date order first.
A Coffee Shop
When it comes to locations, going on a date at a coffee shop is always a popular option. And with good reason: it’s quiet, intimate, and a great place to have a good conversation with each other.
A Museum
If you share any particular interests, a museum about those interests can keep those talking points rolling. This can help you to avoid any sort of awkwardness between you and your date as you can explore almost anything in the world there. In fact, if you both just like learning about stuff, museums can be your go-to for any date ideas you need.
Related reading: The Great Outdoors – 27 Date Ideas in the Open Air
The Zoo
If you want to get technical, the zoo can fit under the category of museums. However, there is something more specific about the zoo that separates it from other museums.
This is a great first date option because it can open up some fairly unique experiences if you play your cards right. Some zoos even allow visitors to have personal experiences with the animals if they find the correct places to sign up.
Your Favorite Bookstore
If you and your date partner enjoy books, it can be a good way to connect this is a great way to spend your first date. You can get lost with each other in the archives. And as a gift, you can purchase each other a copy of the book you had been looking forward to buying the most.
Library
All work and no play makes for a dull man. Something work is the perfect excuse to get together. If you and your potential date have to work on a project for the same class, why not use it to your advantage and make that your first date? You’ll be able to connect while you study and of course that studying could open a whole world of potential conversations that you can have with each other.
Street Food
Remember that nice doesn’t have to mean expensive. There are plenty of eating establishments that hold an air of sophistication that are also not going to ruin your finances for just one date. Research good options in the area, and you will be able to pick out a perfectly good establishment to enjoy your time at with them.
2. Don’t Make Things Overly Complicated
When it comes to the first date you want to put your best foot forward. However, if you make things overly complicated for that first date, you’re more likely to scare off the other person or set yourself up for failure.
Keep the date simple. There’s no need to try and overly impress them by taking to the fanciest places or giving them the night of their dreams right away. What makes a first date great for many people could be something as simple as having a dinner companion at the local bar.
![Put away your phone for a successful first date](https://images.surferseo.art/548bb881-d35f-4613-ae66-35c20d853bfb.jpeg)
3. Put Your Phone Away
Using your phone constantly is bad first date etiquette. We highly recommend forgetting about it unless your date needs it.
Using your phone is OK if it helps oyour date, like it’s an audio guide in an art museum or a rewards app at the restaurant.
Your phone should be put away and only checked if there is some kind of emergency. Because when you are going on a date and are constantly on your phone, you look uninterested in them. So don’t be surprised they will lose their interest in you in return.
4. Think of the Things You Want to Talk About
People constantly search for conversation starters as the first date tips as those awkward pauses and lost opportunities to discuss something cool irritate the most. They expect you to feel confident and stay connected in the present moment – and it’s quite hard when you have no idea what to tell next!
So here are some things to discuss for a date that looks interesting.
Related reading: The Best Flirty Conversation Starters
Favorite Foods
This isn’t just for finding out if they like the same foods as you, but can also be used to help you find an even better date spot in the future. It can also allow you to learn more about them as many people have deep connections with their cultures and way of life in terms of food.
Favorite Content Creators in Social Media
When it comes to social media people tend to follow those that they want to be like and tend to find their favorites in those who they find that they relate most to. By asking your date who they follow as well as who they enjoy the most you get the idea of the type of person they want to be and therefore can be better prepared for the next date.
Play Two Truths and a Lie
On a first date, you may feel tempted to carry around some conversation cards and look like a perfect match. But this way, you make the date super nerve-wracking or even feel as if a conversation is being forced
Play this game instead! It’s a great way to have a fun time with your date while getting to know each other and not brag too much.
5. Make Sure to Have the Date in Person
This one feels like a no-brainer among first date tips. However, due to the recent pandemic, many people are choosing to keep their first date on Zoom or even Facebook messenger. But that rarely works well it you are going on a date with someone for the first time.
Keep things real. After all, dating through a screen has a much different feel from dating in real life. On-screen, you can’t get a true read of their facial expressions, body language, and things worth thoughtful compliments. But with a physical contact, you can see if they are maintaining eye contact, how they may react to touch, and get a better read on their body language to know if you are really a perfect match.
Related reading: Does Distance Really Make the Heart Grow Fonder?
6. Make a Genuine Connection by Listening
“A perfect date is probably something somewhere where you can kind of communicate and talk to the person. I don’t like movies as first date. I don’t think that’s a good idea because you don’t really get to talk to the person. I think taking a walk or just having one on one time with that person is the best.”
Selena Gomez
Both men and women appreciate it when others listen to them during conversation. It not only makes them feel good, but it also brings their talking more to life and becomes fun.
So, make a point to be a good listener:
- Wait for your turn to speak
- Don’t interrupt them
- Try to push the point of having good manners by asking your date questions about the topic or asking them about something that relates to the topic.
These first date tips make your date feel more comfortable and confident – as you allow them to stay in their comfort zone. But also, it subconsciously builds rapport with their date, which can be a deciding factor in whether or not you get a second date.
Related reading: How to Be a Better Lover – Inside and Out
7. Go in With Confidence – But Be Yourself
Showing enough confidence is among the top first-date tips someone can ever give to you. If you don’t feel like this, don’t worry – if you fake it long enough through body language, you may begin to showcase that confident status during your first date.
Hold your head up high, smile, and maintain that positive attitude during your big date. Pretty soon, you will begin to feel your self-worth and feel comfortable while you’re out with the person you are dating.
Whether it’s the first date, the second, or even the 20th or 30th one, the most important thing is to remain a genuine version of yourself. If you have to lie about yourself during the early stages of dating, you create the appearance of false expectations, and those expectations can make it hard to keep up with those lies. You will also not get a genuine connection with the person you are dating, and that can make it hard to determine if you had a good first date or not.
Related reading: Setting Healthy and Fair Expectations in a Relationship
8. Make Sure You Are Clean and Well Groomed
Last but not least, your appearance. A huge deciding factor on whether or not a person will want to go out with you again during a first date is how you look. Of course, you do not have to be a supermodel to get that next date – however, issues such as greasy hair, bad body odor, or wearing something like a T-shirt with holes in it can be huge deal breakers for many people. If you want a good idea for a first-date outfit, try thinking of things that are flattering and simple.
Button-down shirts are always a great date outfit option.
Some of the best advice we have ever received about dressing for a date is that you can talk with your date about coordinating outfits with each other. This can be a fun way to make it easier for you to spot each other at your meeting place as well as establish a connection.
![Safety date tups most women should not forget when dating online](https://images.surferseo.art/e8454a4e-62c6-4b5a-affc-7028a94e8141.jpeg)
It All Starts With Your Attitude: You Should Feel Safe
When it comes to dates that lead you away from your comfort zone, here are the things you should do:
- Remain calm: First dates can be nerve-wracking, and that feeling of unease could easily make wrong things happen. Do not let your guard down: keep your eye out for potential red flags to maintain a deeper level of understanding, whether or not it is your nerves or reality.
- Have an emergency contact: Only reality can enable you to gauge exactly where potential red flags come from. Thus, having an emergency contact is not about assuming anyone you are dating is potentially bad but empowering you if something goes wrong during a date
- Have someone you trust nearby: You can date in familiar places or ask someone you know and trust to be at the location so you can feel better on your first dates with strangers. There’s nothing wrong with that.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help: Most staff members are willing to help if you feel unsafe. You can start a great conversation with a bartender or ask some new person to help you get out of a bad date.
The first date is all about you having an amazing time that leaves a good impression. So remember, it’s supposed to be fun! And if it’s not that fun, the person you’re dating is probably not worth a second one. Most women forget about that, but we all deserve to have a positive experience and enjoy chemistry based on similar tastes and values.