What Do Women Look For in a Man, Clarified

Self-awareness
06 Aug 2023
14 min read
What Do Women Look for in a Man While Dating: 9 Traits

Does it seem as if other guys have learned how to attract women while you’re still struggling to get noticed? It’s hard to feel like a confident man when you’re not sure you have the essential qualities most women want. But we’ll tell you what do women look for in a man!

This is a lonely feeling for sure, but you don’t have to feel alone. So many men wonder what women find attractive. This includes the guys who seem to never struggle. Fortunately, there is no myth as to what women want. Let’s go over the personality traits they find attractive, and a few more important points about finding your way into a woman’s heart.

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What Women Desire: 8 Myths

There are many things that men believe wholeheartedly that women desire. However, the reality is that many of these things are often bad points, assumptions, or half-truths that many men make based on what they see in the media. More often than not these are things that women just deal with that men just assume are attractive to women. Let’s look at some of these bad pieces of advice and carefully debunk them.

1. Women Want a Man Who Works Long Hours

This is what the phrase “Women want a man who is a hard worker” often morphs into. Men will often work 60-100 hour work weeks and wear that like a badge of honor.

However, men don’t realize that it isn’t the amount of time you spend working that women find attractive, but rather the work ethic, and balance you put into it. If you’re working such long hours that you can’t even enjoy anything aside from work, then in reality you aren’t going to be very attractive to most women.

2. Women Want an Extremely Muscular Man

A common argument that men have when women complain about how female comic heroes such as Poison Ivy, or Harley Quinn are extremely sexualized is to compare those characters with male heroes such as Batman and Superman.

However, those characters are often not very attractive to women. That is because they are based upon male power fantasies rather than what women find attractive. While some women find these features appealing, it should not be the gold standard that many believe. Also, remember that perceptions of masculinity and attractiveness vary as you travel worldwide.

3. Women Want the Most Manly Version of Men

Many men believe that if they do anything that isn’t considered manly, women will not find them attractive. This idea is implanted from a young age by toxic masculinity and is untrue.

Of course, it is ok for men to do manly things. However, that isn’t what women find attractive. A man who has only to do manly things to show off that they are a man often lacks self-confidence and may seem uncomfortable in their own skin. Next time you don’t want to wear a particular color or refuse to participate in a certain event because it isn’t manly enough ask yourself if you’re refusing because you want to or if you’re refusing because you don’t think it’s attracting women.

Related reading: Male Maturity – When Does It Kick In?

4. A Lack of Emotions Is Attractive

Coldness is one thing that women blatantly find unattractive. This lack of emotions is often tied strongly to male power fantasies that men often confuse for attractive points for women.

A man who cannot show off and own his own emotions can often make women feel unsafe, as the man is often unpredictable and prone to explosive anger tendencies from how often they have to hold in their emotions.

5. A Man Who Treats Her Like a Princess

In reality, women don’t always need a man to wait on them, hand and foot. Sometimes they also want to spoil you as well.

When a woman feels like a relationship is all about you spoiling her, she may become bored with it. Don’t be afraid to spoil her occasionally, but be open to being spoiled yourself. Relationships are all about give and take; it could end badly if all you do is give and never take what she tries to give you.

6. Women Need a Man Who Is Well Endowed

There is one body part that many men in particular use to measure their worth, sexual attraction, and of course how manly they are. It is commonly believed that most women want a man who possesses a large penis.

Many erotic novels will often reference sizes that are commonly between 8 and 13 inches. However, when the vaginal canal is only about 4-5 inches deep on average, there is one thing that most women say when they actually see a penis that large. “Ouch.”

Of course, some women do find a large size to be attractive, however, out of it all your size is likely one of the least important qualities women are looking for.

7. Financial Support

Thanks to the explosion of incel, red pill, and MGOTW (men going their own way) content, even reasonable guys are starting to get the wrong idea about what most ladies are looking for.

Despite what you may have read online, the average woman isn’t interested in a relationship where she is financially supported. Instead, she would rather have a financially responsible guy who takes care of himself so she can focus on providing for herself.

If you feel resentful or convince yourself that a woman has rejected you because she is a gold digger, take a moment to reconsider that. Could it be something else about your approach that is putting her off?

8. Long-Term Relationships

It isn’t that no woman wants a long-term relationship. Many of them do. It’s just that so many men assume that all women are only interested in that.

Don’t assume that’s the case. Women all over the world have different goals for their relationships. Sure, some would love to get married. Others prefer a more casual relationship to focus on their career, friends, and interests. So, if you are a single guy, rest assured that there are women out there who want exactly what you want.

Related reading: Does Distance Really Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

What do women look for in a man: 9 traits

9 Features That Truly Attract Women

Now let’s talk about the features that women find attractive. Here are the nine things that most men will be able to use in order to connect with a woman.

1. Good Hygiene

When it comes to having the ability to be attractive, good hygiene is one of the first things that women look for. It doesn’t matter if you have the looks that could win you sexiest man of the Year or not. Women want a guy who is able to take care of himself because most women want to have a partner and not a child so they have to give reminders to shower.

If you find that women are less attracted to you, try looking at the way you groom yourself first:

  • Is your hair clean and brushed?
  • Are you’re a man who just uses an all-in-one body wash/shampoo/ conditioner?
  • Do you care about your body smell?

If you are and want to get a woman to be interested, you need to move to the next level of hygiene. Talk with your friends about the products they use and then through trial and error find what works best for you. Good hygiene is also linked to a boost in confidence as well as better mental health.

2. A Good Sense of Humor

One of the most attractive qualities that most men can possess is a sense of humor. While many women do want someone who has a good physical appearance, we find that it very rarely matters in comparison to other qualities. And a sense of humor is one of the most sought out qualities that women have.

A sense of humor shows others what type of person you are. Guys who are able to make others laugh have a significant ability to make good conversation and are often passionate about the things they care about.

3. A Good Fashion Sense

Just like good hygiene, women want a man who is able to present himself nicely. A man who is able to properly dress himself is going to be undeniably more attractive than a man who cannot.

Men who dress well are seen as men who are willing to try new things, are often seen as charming, and initially give off an air of confidence to those around them.

4. Confidence

When a man believes that they are great and fully accepts all of their flaws, this leads to a very desirable trait known as being confident. Women tend to look for a guy who possesses confidence as it makes them feel comfortable to be around them.

A man who is confident is often more than just a smooth talker. They have an innate ability to get ahead in life. They are able to make important connections, impress others, and will more often than not build a lasting relationship with their partner.

5. Respect to Women

Women like guys who treat them with respect. That seems like common sense. But unfortunately, many guys confuse respect with chivalry or protectiveness.

When women become overprotected instead of getting respect, that can be frustrating. Why? Because this guy comes off as being patronizing, or even controlling.

What’s the difference? Treating a woman with respect means honoring her autonomy, not violating the boundaries she sets, and seeing her as a fully-realized individual.

Related reading: Setting Relationship Rules For a Healthy Partnership

6. A Man With a Good Work Ethic

Work ethic is one of the key personality traits of a person who can be trusted. It isn’t associated with a particular socioeconomic status or career type. Instead, someone with a good work ethic doesn’t just act in the interest of their own needs. They are contributors. They take pride in being proactive in doing their share at work and at home.

Why do women look for work ethic? When a woman finds a guy who is driven and a self-starter, she can count on him to behave as a true partner. A guy with a good work ethic won’t need to be reminded to clean up after himself or have a chore list written out for him just to help around the house.

7. Kindness and Generousity

Relationship experts agree that the average woman would prefer a relationship with a man who is kind and generous. Like many of the other traits women want in a man, this one is also misconstrued quite often. A kind person isn’t a simp or a sap. A generous person isn’t a sugar daddy or cash cow.

When a woman says she wants a guy who is kind, she wants someone who can be counted on to treat people with respect and dignity. When she says she is attracted to generous men, you can assume she means generosity with time, emotions, and communication. There’s also the matter of being sexually generous. That is certainly something that many ladies desire.

Related reading: A Guide on How to Be a Better Boyfriend

8. A Man Who Isn’t Afraid of His Emotions

It’s an unfortunate truth that so many men are socialized to believe that it is wrong for them to experience or express a full range of emotions. So, they suppress their feelings, and present a facade to the world. Worse, many can’t even express their feelings with the women they love.

That’s a shame, because women crave a man who is willing to be vulnerable. Ultimately, a guy who is in touch with his authentic feelings is going to have stronger relationships.

9. A Good Personality

Admittedly, the concept of a good personality is pretty vague. In some ways that’s a good thing. It means that men can have a wide range of personality traits that are desirable to women. For example, the guy who is funny and the life of the party won’t have much trouble attracting women. On the other hand, a man who is serious and artistic will also draw women to his side.

If you are willing to put in some effort, you can also cultivate a great personality. Here are some of the behaviors and habits of men who have engaging personalities:

  • They spend time with a variety of people
  • They pursue hobbies and interests
  • They are aware of current events
  • They read
  • They appreciate music and art
  • They volunteer and do things to make their communities better
  • They know how to listen and carry on an interesting conversation
  • They offer encouragement and support to their loved ones
  • They are reliable and keep their promises

If you aren’t doing these things already, consider making a few changes.

How to become a guy that women desire

Sexual Chemistry

When a woman has sexual chemistry with a guy, she forms a deeper connection with him. That great sense of bonding happens when you can openly discuss your fantasies and feel safe expressing yourselves sexually.

Some sexual alignment is the result of chosen behavior. People develop chemistry because they choose to communicate honestly, show respect, and be selfless. That said, there is also an aspect attributed to having similar tastes and libido. The more in tune you are with the woman you are dating, the more fun you will have in the bedroom.

Some of the most charming men are the guys who aren’t afraid to be unique. A woman truly enjoys being around a guy who can be open and fun without worrying about what his friends might say. Guys who are hung up on the thoughts and beliefs of others are rarely enjoyable to be around. In most cases, they’re the ones who tend to kill the vibe.

The Art of Attracting Women

To be able to attract women is something that many guys want to be able to do. However, it’s important to note that different things work for different people. The art of being able to attract others is something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Here are the steps we have found that work best.

  1. Good Hygiene is Key, find a routine that works best for you, and don’t be afraid to try new things
  2. Find a sense of style all your own, clothes that fit well and look good are important.
  3. Treat the girl you want, and everyone else with respect.
  4. Have a sense of enthusiasm for life
  5. Control your emotions – don’t take your bad day out on her
  6. Don’t be needy – give your girl some space and show your own independence
  7. Make honest and authentic communication a priority

Final Thoughts: Most Women Will Tell You What They Want

All you have to do is listen! In fact, if you look past the ideology that many people try to feed you women are not playing mind games with you. You don’t even have to look hard for examples of this. Women often say out loud what they want in a man, and many men simply refuse to acknowledge the answers and honesty that they give. Then, they are baffled when the woman they are dating shuts down or dumps them. Wouldn’t you feel disrespected if you were on the other side of things? Start believing what the woman you are talking to tells you.

If we’re being honest, no two women are attracted to the exact same things. If you are truly interested in a girl you need to put in the leg work and find out what she’s attracted to. That’s truly the number one thing you should take away from this. When you do this, you may feel good about what you discover as you navigate the dating scene.

Love&Sex Expert
Cherie Hamilton
I’ve always been inspired by women who are outgoing, very sure of themselves, and not afraid to be who they were, including their sex lives. Under their tutelage, I gradually shed my old self, hung out and socialized with them, and, over time, became the empowered, self-confident, and sexual woman I am today. Happy to share my insights with other women today!
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