Understanding Monkey Branching: Signs, Effects, and Solutions

Have you ever wondered why some people keep jumping from one relationship to a new one, even when they’re already with someone? It’s as if they start exploring new options before ending their current relationship. Such behavior is often called monkey branching — and it’s more common than you might think. Whether you’re curious about the signs, the consequences, or how to handle it, understanding serial dating can help you navigate relationships more wisely.

What Is Monkey Branching, and Why Do People Do It?

Whether or not monkey branching is considered cheating depends on the boundaries of the relationship. If partners agree to be exclusive, then secretly pursuing someone else would be a breach of trust and could feel like cheating. However, if the relationship isn’t defined, it may seem like just casual dating or exploration.

“The goal is to have a “back-up” plan in case things don’t work out with their current partner.”

Marta Levchenko

People may engage in such behavior for many reasons. Some common ones include:

• Fear of being alone: many people worry about being single or not having someone, so they start looking for a new relationship before ending a previous one.
• Lack of commitment: a person is not all-in with their current partner, so exploring other options feels easier.
• Dissatisfaction: if they’re unhappy emotionally or physically, they might seek a better option to fill that gap with a new person.
• Insecurity: low self-esteem can drive a person to seek validation and attention from multiple people.
• Inability to handle breakup: some monkey branchers fear the pain of ending a relationship and try to ‘soften the blow’ by keeping a backup.

“The behavior of a monkey brancher significantly impacts both parties — causing feelings of betrayal, self-doubt and trust issues for the person being left, while the “brancher” often experiences guilt, emotional emptiness, and difficulty forming genuine connections.”

LifeStance Health.

Is Monkey Branching Cheating?

This is one of the most common questions. The answer depends on what both partners have agreed upon.

• If the relationship is supposed to be exclusive, and one person secretly pursues others, that breach of trust is generally considered cheating. It hurts the other partner and can ruin the emotional safety of the relationship.
• Some might see it as harmless dating if it’s not clearly defined, but it still erodes trust over time and damages sentimental bonds.

Open communication is key here. Share about what loyalty means to each of you. If you’re feeling unsure or insecure, it’s better to discuss these feelings early rather than sneaking around or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.

Related reading: Is She a Loyal Girlfriend? What to Look For

Can Monkey Branching Be Considered Rebounding?

While similar, serial dating and rebounding are not the same thing.

• Monkey branching involves finding new relationships before ending the current one. It’s about having a backup plan while still in a relationship.
• Rebounding typically happens after a breakup, when a person quickly jumps into a new relationship to cope with heartbreak or loneliness.

Both behaviors can indicate feelings of fear of abandonment or commitment issues. If you or your partner are engaging in either, it might be time to reflect on what’s really driving those actions — and consider seeking advice from a licensed professional counselor or therapist.

Monkey Branching and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Research points to behaviors like monkey branching being related to mental health issues like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD often struggle with emotional stability and a deep sense of abandonment, which can drive a pattern of ending one relationship while starting another to feel secure.

Monkey branching BPD may look like this: someone with BPD ends a relationship abruptly, then quickly seeks a new one to fill that void, often before fully processing their feelings. This makes their relationships unstable and hard to maintain. It’s important to remember that not everyone with BPD engages in serial dating, and not all monkey branching is rooted in BPD. However, understanding this pattern can help manage expectations and seek appropriate help if needed.

Why Do People Monkey Branch?

To better understand how to address this behavior, it helps to look at the why. Here are some common reasons:

• Reality of being alone. Many people worry about loneliness or abandonment, so they start exploring new options before breaking up.
• Fear of missing out (FOMO). Some might chase new connections out of curiosity or desire for excitement, even if they’re in a good relationship.
• Lack of emotional maturity. Not everyone is ready to handle commitment. They may seek multiple partners to avoid the vulnerability that real closeness requires
• A 2024 study explained that it’s often seen as a way to avoid feeling alone or insecure, and it can be a sign of deeper issues like anxious attachment style or poor self-confidence.
• Insecurity and low self-esteem. Feeling unsure about themselves can drive people to seek validation from many sources, making it easier to cheat or monkey branch.

“They seek to establish and maintain a harem of potential partners as a means of bolstering their fragile egos and self-worth. Monkey branching allows them to seamlessly transition from one relationship to another, often without remorse or concern for the person’s emotional well-being.”

Elizabeth Shaw

• Difficulty with commitment. Fear of truly committing can cause a monkey brancher to keep their options open, which often results in relationship-hopping behavior.
• They’re unhappy in the relationship. Monkey branching may occur if someone doesn’t feel connected with their partner. Emotional infidelity often stems from a lack of feeling secure in a relationship or feeling stuck in life transitions. Monkey brancher may start flirting with other people to seek emotional support.

Related reading: 10 Signs You Are Not Valued in a Relationship

Signs Your Partner Is Monkey Branching

It’s tough to tell sometimes, but here are some common signs that your partner might be monkey branching:

• Decreased communication: if they suddenly lose interest in talking or sharing their feelings, this could be a red flag.
• Secretive behavior: hiding their phone, hiding their social media activity, or being overly guarded can be signs.
• Unexplained absences: being frequently unavailable without clear reasons can point to resource seeking or talking to someone else.
• Loss of interest: when your partner seems less engaged or less interested in your shared activities, it might be because they’re emotionally checking out.
• Flirting or looking for approval through social media: if someone flirts online, likes or comments on other people’s posts inappropriately, or seeks attention on social media, it could be part of monkey branching.

Keep in mind, these signs aren’t conclusive on their own. But if several apply and you notice a change in your partner’s behavior, it could be worth having an honest conversation.

“If you verify that your partner has been monkey branching, understand that any reason given isn’t necessarily worth the reality of your mental health being negatively impacted or the lack of emotional safety and security in the relationship.”

Tori Lyn Mills, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at Thriveworks in Columbia, MD..

How to Handle Monkey Branching

If you suspect your partner is monkey branching, what do you do? Here are some practical steps:

1. Communicate Openly

Ask your partner about your concerns calmly and honestly. Use “I” statements like, “I feel worried when I notice you’re secretive or less engaged.” Sometimes, they may not realize how their actions affect you.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

Clear boundaries help define what’s acceptable and what isn’t. If being exclusive is important to you, make that clear. If your partner is exploring or dating others, discuss how that fits within your boundaries.

3. Watch for Patterns

Observe whether the behavior is a one-time thing or part of a pattern. This will help you decide if you want to work things out or if it’s time to move on.

4. Build Trust and Confidence

Focus on rebuilding trust by being honest and consistent. If both of you commit to transparency, it can help repair the emotional connection.

6. Know When to Walk Away

If your partner repeatedly cheats or continues to monkey branch despite your efforts, it may be a sign that the relationship isn’t healthy. Prioritize your mental health and self-respect.

Can Monkey Branching Behavior Be Fixed?

While some relationships survive or recover from serial dating, it’s often rooted in deeper issues like insecurity or poor communication. To fix it, both partners need to be committed to honesty, rebuilding trust, and improving intimacy. Building mutual respect and clarity about what’s acceptable in a relationship is crucial. If one partner consistently seeks new options without regard for the other’s feelings, it’s likely to cause long-term damage.

On the bright side, with awareness, honest communication, and professional help, many couples can work through the underlying problems and rebuild a trusting relationship.

Related reading: What to do When There’s no Chemistry in a Relationship

Will Monkey Branching Relationships Last?

The truth is, most monkey branching relationships don’t last long-term. Because they’re built on a shaky foundation of dishonesty and lack of trust, they often lead to tension, jealousy, and feelings of insecurity. Over time, these issues tend to cause the relationship to break down or become toxic. In contrast, healthy and lasting relationships are based on mutual trust, honesty, and respect. Partners who are committed and open about their feelings tend to stay together in the long run and build stronger emotional bonds.

“Emotional betrayal, though often invisible, can leave wounds that last far longer than any physical infidelity ever could.”

Dionne Reid, a relationship & empowerment mentor

What Are the Monkey Branching Effects on the Relationship?

Monkey branching can tear a relationship apart over time. Some significant effects include:

• Loss of trust: trust can be hard to rebuild once broken, and the damage often lasts forever.
• Conflict and jealousy: discovering a partner’s ongoing pursuit of others fuels mistrust and emotional pain.
• Emotional exhaustion: constant suspicion or heartbreak drains your energy and worsens your mental health.
• Breakup or divorce: long-term dishonesty and broken trust often lead to the end of the relationship, even if both partners wanted to stay together initially.
• Damage to self-esteem: feeling devalued or betrayed can make you question your worth and result in ongoing insecurities.
• Abandonment issues: dealing with a monkey brancher leaves scars that can shift into future relationships, making a person feel suspense for no good reason.

Recognizing these effects can help you decide whether to work on fixing a relationship or to say goodbye for your own mental health.

Related reading: Modern Dating—Buckle Up

How to Protect Yourself From the Negative Effects of Monkey Branching

Here are some practical tips to help you protect your emotional health and deal with monkey branching behaviors:

1. Watch for Red Flags

Stay alert to signs like secretive behavior, decreased communication, and emotional distance. If you see these, don’t ignore them.

2. Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Be upfront about what’s acceptable for both of you. If monogamy is important, clearly communicate that.

3. Have Honest Conversations

If you suspect monkey branching, ask calmly and honestly where things stand. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings.

4. Prioritize Your Self-Worth

Remember your value. Don’t stay in a relationship where you feel betrayed or disrespected. You deserve honesty and loyalty.

5. Seek Support

Talk to friends, family, or a counselor about your concerns. Sometimes, an outside perspective helps you see things clearly.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

If your partner repeatedly engages in monkey branching and doesn’t respect your boundaries, consider ending the relationship. Your mental health comes first.

Can Monkey Branching Be Fixed or Changed?

In some cases, yes. But it requires both partners to be committed to growth and honesty.

• Open communication helps rebuild trust and clarify expectations.
• Couples therapy can be a valuable tool if both want to work through underlying issues like fear of abandonment or commitment problems.
• Personal growth and reflection are key. Understanding why someone engages in monkey branching — whether it’s insecurity, past trauma, behavioral issues or disruptions in their own lives — is crucial.

However, it’s important to recognize that if the behavior is ongoing and one-sided, it might never entirely change. In those cases, prioritizing your health and happiness is often the best choice.

Do Monkey Branching Relationships Last?

Most monkey branching relationships tend to be unstable long-term, mainly because they’re built on distrust. Over time, jealousy, betrayal, and emotional exhaustion can cause relationships to crumble. Long-lasting, healthy relationships thrive on trust, honesty, and mutual respect. Couples who openly communicate and are committed to each other tend to avoid the pitfalls of monkey branching and create stronger emotional bonds.

Related reading: Telltale Signs The Relationship is Over For Him

Solutions for Moving Forward

If you’re caught in a monkey branching situation, here are some steps to consider:

• Reflect on your emotional state: are you staying out of insecurity or because you genuinely want the relationship to succeed?
• Express your concerns: talk openly with your partner about your feelings. Listen to their perspective without accusing.
• Set and enforce your boundaries: clearly define what’s acceptable and what’s not. If both of you agree to be exclusive, stick to that — consistently.
• Assess whether it’s worth fixing: sometimes, honest conversations and mutual efforts can repair trust. Other times, walking away is healthier. Trust your gut.
• Work on self-love and confidence: remember, someone else’s actions don’t determine your worth. Focus on building your self-awareness so you’re less vulnerable to hurt.
• Seek outside emotional support: whether that’s talking to friends, family, or a counselor, getting an outside perspective can give you clarity and strength.
• Be patient and kind to yourself: healing from betrayal or betrayal patterns takes time. Focus on what you need to feel safe and respected.

Moving Toward Healthy, Honest Relationships

Monkey branching might seem tempting or even unavoidable at times, it often leads to pain and broken trust. Knowing the signs and effects can help you recognize the behavior early — whether you’re the one doing it or on the receiving end. Healthy relationships are rooted in honesty, respect, and trust. If you notice monkey branching happening, ask yourself if it aligns with your values and if it’s worth risking your emotional well-being. Often, the best choice is to prioritize your happiness and find someone who truly respects your boundaries.