How to Respond to ‘Hey’ on Dating App

While some users of dating apps do their best to come up with a catchy first message, others don’t put any effort into writing. They simply type “hey” and hit the “send” button, expecting the other person to ask a question and get the conversation flowing.

Do you receive such messages, and they cause you frustration? Do you want to know how to respond to hey on dating app so it leads to something more meaningful? Depending on your dating goals and communication style, you can choose one of the following strategies to get the conversation started.

when someone on a dating app sends you a message that just says "hey" pic.twitter.com/9Va0pnh1Il

— sugarsnap 🇵🇸 ✡ (@oh_pies) August 10, 2018

9 Tips on How to Respond to ‘Hey’

Online dating is not rocket science. Of course, if you need professional help, you can hire a dating coach or relationship coach to choose a perfect pickup line and give you tips on how to come up with an appropriate response and improve the conversation flow.

But you can also check out these 9 possible responses to ‘hey’ on a dating app to keep talking with your online dates and really enjoying that conversation. These responses have different moods and will lead your conversation in different directions, so feel free to switch them based on what feels more natural to you.

1. Make It Personal

In this scenario, you conduct some research on who they are and write a personalized message. Here are step-by-step instructions on how to do it:

• Visit their profile: Read the bio and look through the profile pictures, paying attention to any shared interest you have. It will help you to find common ground and start a more meaningful conversation.

• Ask an open-ended question: It may be related to their hobbies, lifestyle, or whatever you find interesting about their profile. Keep it short, concise, and positive – two or three sentences are enough. If you talk negatively about someone else’s interest or hobby, they will unlikely reply.

• Make your answer open to the follow-up questions: Be ready to share some insights about your experience. This way, you will show genuine interest in the person by asking a personalized question, build the connection and keep the conversation going.

Tip: If their profile is almost empty, you can still come up with an interesting question to start a conversation. Look through their pictures one more time. What do they wear? Do they hold something in their hands, like a cup of coffee, car keys, etc.? Where were those photographs taken? “I see you wear Converse sneakers. They are the comfiest sneakers ever, aren’t they? I’m obsessed with Converse shoes, too!”

2. Ask General Open-Ended Questions

Going for an open-ended question is a good alternative in a situation when you can’t write a personalized question. You may not have time to review their profile, or their profiles contain zero useful information. In such cases, ask some open-ended questions on any topic that resonates with you:

• This last episode of X show has blown my mind! Have you watched it?
• It’s such a beautiful day today. Have you been outside yet?
• It’s raining all day. Do you have an umbrella with you?
• What is the best way to make you smile?

Also, consider asking a question where you offer two options to choose from. It will make it easier for the other person to respond:

• It’s a pancake day today. Do you like your pancakes with maple syrup or peanut butter?
• Bali or Paris. Where would you like to spend your next vacation?
• If you were a bird, would you be a penguin or an eagle?

3. Say ‘Hey’ Back in a More Creative Way

When you have no clue what response to write, use a simple alternative to ‘hey;’ that will be enough. In such a way, you will show the other person you are ready to continue the conversation, yet want them to be the one who takes the lead and asks the first question.

Pick your way to respond to ‘hey’ from these:

• Hi-ya
• Hey yourself
• Hey, Mitchel
• Hey, sweetheart
• Hi, precious.
• Bonjour, beauty!
• How goes it
• How’s it going?

Some people don’t tolerate ‘hey’ messages. Others have neutral attitudes toward them. Since you chat with someone who starts the conversation with this very word, you can presuppose they are OK with it.

4. Use an Emoji or GIF

If you don’t want to put too much effort into starting a conversation, you can send an emoji or GIF instead of words. Here are a few ideas:

• Send a cute animal GIF: It can be a dog holding a red rose, a cartoon cat with heart-shaped eyes, or any animal that matches your spirit.
• Find a meme that shows amazement: Use it to say, “Wow, I can’t believe that someone as cool as you sent me hey first.”
• Choose a pop culture meme: It’s the easiest way to have fun and connect on the same pop culture knowledge.

Sending emojis back and forth can be fun, but don’t overdo it. If they send you more than three messages without the text, it’s unlikely you’ll have meaningful conversations. If that’s the case, just leave a chat and start your search over.

It’s better to find someone who shows genuine interest in you rather than chat with someone who doesn’t want to talk.

Related reading: 18 Top Flirty Emojis on a Dating App

5. Be Straigtword

Want to spend less time on dating apps? Be straightforward about your desires and preferences, then! When someone says ‘hey,’ make it clear that you value in-person meetings over online dating.

For this, talk about the particular way you want to spend your first date and discuss relative questions:

• “Hi! What is a perfect first date for you? Do you want to meet for drinks or coffee?”
• “Hey cutie! How long should we talk online before meeting in real life?”
• “I’m glad you’ve messaged me first. I like the guys who take the lead.”

“Hey, I think you’re cute let’s grab a drink soon”

Is the only message I ever want to get on a dating app. All other messages should be illegal.

— Nicole Byer aka peppa pig slut (@nicolebyer) September 14, 2021

6. Show Off Your Sense of Humor

Are you proud to have a great sense of humor? Use it as a tool to win your match over! Tell them a joke or come up with a funny response that will put a smile on your match’s face.

Your joke can be a question in one message and a response in a second message. If so, you’ll engage your match in conversation and see whether they understand your jokes.

Also, you can try poking fun at the “hey” response.

If someone doesn’t get your jokes and doesn’t laugh at your funny responses, don’t take it personally. Sometimes, people need time to get used to each other’s sense of humor.

Related reading: Are You a Dry Texter? Change Your Ways!

7. Start a Flirty Game

Are you good at using pickup lines? Don’t be shy to use them when you respond to hey. It’s a great way to show off your creativity and out-of-the-box thinking.

Here are some examples:

• My phone is melting. Your photos are too hot to watch.
• Are you in a good mood today? I know some magic tricks to make your mood even better.
• Wow. You have noticed me first. I should take it as a compliment.
• Do you happen to have a life preserver? I’m drowning in your eyes.
• Do you have a twin? I think I have seen her in a movie. Her name is Scarlett Johansson and she looks almost as hot as you.

“While pickup lines have a cheesy connotation, genuine and funny lines can effectively initiate a conversational spark.”

Blaine Anderson, dating coach

Do you use pickup lines that you have found online? Make sure to edit them and add a personal touch. If you don’t change them at all, it may lead you to great disappointment – people won’t respond to the pickup lines they have already heard before.

Related reading: The Best Flirty Conversation Starters

8. Ignore the ‘Hey’ Message and Wait for Something More From Them

Disclaimer: this is not the best way to use online dating services. But if you don’t see any common ground with this particular person, it’s better to ignore them and start a chat with someone else who put at least some effort into getting to know you better.

Remember that you don’t have to respond to every ‘hey’ you get. If you don’t feel like it, just ignore the message. The truth is that if someone is genuinely interested in you, they will send you another, more meaningful text. So you can just wait and see what will happen next.

Just note that you shouldn’t ignore everyone who sent you ‘hey.’ Most people send this message just to make sure you’re not a bot.

Some of you are still single because you ignored that " hey "message in your dm.🙃

— Kwagala Immaculate (@kwagalaimme) February 25, 2024

9. Start a Challenge in Response to Hey

Do you want to try a new approach to starting a conversation? Find a way to challenge the person you talk to! If you want to make someone interested in you, offer them a new, exciting experience.

Here are some ways to respond to “hey” in a new, unique way:

• “Let’s play! Never have I ever _____ on the first romantic date. What word needs to be added?”
• “Hey. Can you name three of the best restaurants in the city for a romantic night out and warm-hearted conversations?”
• Who has a longer middle name: you or I? Let me know your name, and we will see who is the winner!

Such responses are fun, and such conversations are memorable. If you want to find more ideas for “relationship-building challenges”, follow any famous relationship coach on Instagram or Facebook. Relationship experts typically share useful information with their followers for free.

4 Things to Consider Before Writing a Response to “Hey”

Here are some final considerations to keep in mind before choosing any strategy to respond to their ‘hey’:

1. Check if you want this conversation: Make sure you are interested in this person, and there are no red flags in their profile so far. If you don’t find this person interesting, don’t waste your time writing a response.
2. Consider where this chat can go: Your answer will keep the conversation going, so it’s better to have a few follow-up questions in mind. Don’t ask questions on topics you don’t want to discuss or lack knowledge to discuss.
3. Choose your words wisely: Jokes can be ambiguous, so be careful. Watch your language and make sure that other guys will not find your response offensive.
4. Don’t get disappointed too early: Everything comes with practice. There are millions of right and wrong ways to respond to hey and similar texts. You should practice creating fun responses and testing them in real time.

Wrapping Up

Now you know there are many ways to respond to ‘hey’ and ‘how’s it going?.’ Feel free to choose what feels more natural to you, be that your favorite pickup line, an interesting question, or funnily poking at your match. You can try different tips and strategies when talking with different guys and find the most effective conversation starter that suits you the best.