How to Become His Obsession

Intimacy & Sex
18 Feb 2024
10 min read
How to Make Him Obsessed with You: 15 Key Strategies

Even if you are “head over heels” crazy about the guy, it may not always be the same for him. He may have fun when you are together – but that’s not enough if you want him calling and messaging you every day just to say he is thinking about you and loves you. So how to make him obsessed with you the way you want it?

Let’s learn how you stay on his mind the way he is on yours.

15 Strategies to Make a Man Obsessed With You

So, how do you make your man fall head over heels for you? Are there some strategies for how to make him obsessed with you? Yes, and let’s get started!

1. Use Psychological Triggers

What makes a guy gravitate toward a woman, think about her, and want to be with her all the time? There are some basic things behind his obsession for you to consider:

  • Finding you undeniably attractive: This refers to your physical attractiveness, personality, the way you handle yourself around him and others in social situations, and in general just the vibe you give off.
  • Bringing him excitement and new and different experiences: When you bring fun and novel experiences into a dating relationship, he’ll look forward to spending time with you, always wondering what might be next.
  • Being intriguing yet real: Men keep a keen interest in a woman who is somewhat mysterious and unpredictable, along with being her normal real-life nice person too. It’s good if he doesn’t know everything about the woman he is dating or what you might be doing when not with him.
  • Being a bit sporadic: He’ll respond to a woman who knows what he wants and gives it to him – but not always. Keep him guessing a bit; that’s not all bad.

Related reading: How to Play Hard to Get

2. Obsess Over Yourself With Extreme Confidence

He knows you’re hot stuff, and you got to let him know that you know this! No, we don’t mean you need to act self-centered or as if you are better than anybody else. What will make that man obsessed with you is your confidence.

Confidence comes from self-love and is everything about being attractive. It shows the real you – being comfortable in your own skin and staying in charge of your life.

When you are obsessed with yourself, you tell the world you are an amazing person, and only you can hold yourself back. Let him see you in this light, and it’s practically guaranteed to make your boyfriend obsessed with you. Just feel fine in your own skin – and you’ll see him sharing your confidence that you’re the one.

Being playful is one of the ways how to make him obsessed with you

3. Be Playful

There’s way too much seriousness in life, so the best way to keep a spark alive is to keep things fun in your relationship. He’ll love seeing your playful and naughty side as you start playing games with him. Allow him to get sucked into the activities you plan, and spend time relaxing with each other. By being playful in your relationship, you are much better able to communicate openly and easily.

But what can you do to keep that playfulness going? Here are a couple of suggestions for the things you can do with him:

  • Plan a blindfold date
  • Go to an amusement park
  • Visit the nearest beach to build sandcastles together
  • Have a campout in your yard
  • Go to a karaoke bar and sing a suggestive song to him

Here’s the thing about being playful: that’s a great way to keep him wondering what is next. And in that wondering, you are on his mind a lot.

Make those dates with much more fun than he has ever had with other gals. Be the only woman who gives him this kind of enjoyment. If you remain playful, he’ll be smiling for days just thinking about the fun he had.

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4. Make Him Feel Special

If you want to make a man obsessed with you, you need to give him some strong reasons. Making him feel special whenever you are around him is one of such reasons. Men love independent women, as they are capable of making their own decisions and garnering their own self-esteem. But this independence you radiate becomes even more obsessive if you pay attention to them – in all your glory and beauty.

Find a nice middle ground between your independence and the need to pay special attention to him:

  • Connect your common interests.
  • Make him his favorite meal
  • Don’t be afraid to climb into his lap and enjoy some physical intimacy
  • Send some flirty texts letting him know how special he is to you

Note: Be sporadic and spontaneous with those flirty texts. Less is more here. You may be tempted to send them every day. Just don’t do that. It makes you look desperate and smothering. People tend to back away in these circumstances. Let him wonder when that next message might come, and when it doesn’t come too soon, he is wondering why.

Above all else, when you are together, give him your undivided attention. There are so many things you can do to make him feel special – and so many more ways to make a man fall head over heels in love with you.

5. Allow Him to Be Your Hero

If you want to make your boyfriend obsessed with you, let him be your hero from time to time. It’s good to be independent, but you should also allow him to come to your aid from time to time.

He’ll wonder if your relationship has any meaning if you don’t make him your hero. The easiest way to prove to him it all makes sense is by letting him help you – moving furniture around, painting your place, or resolving a conflict with your best friend.

Don’t be afraid to request his assistance from time to time, especially when you really need it. Of course, a man loves a woman who is independent and can handle herself most of the time. But it can be frustrating to watch a person attempt to do something on their own when they need to be assisted.

Asking for his help, opinions, and input will make him feel appreciated. He’ll start paying more attention to you, given the input he’s already given.

Related reading: How to Turn On the Hero Instinct in Men

6. Talk With Him

Most likely, you’re about to get the best dating advice from your own romantic partner. So, if you’re having issues and need advice, why not go to him? Try this today if you want him to start paying attention to your feelings and struggles.

Talk with your man about your day and all the things that might matter to you both. Even if he can’t help you with your issues, just feeling that you can talk to him about these things will make your boyfriend feel like a hero to you – and grow his obsession with you simultaneously.

7. Set Healthy Boundaries

We all know that any relationship needs mutual respect for boundaries to remain healthy. But not so many people know that setting good boundaries is also a surefire way to make your boyfriend obsessed with you.

So here is the obsession recipe: sit down, make eye contact, and discuss each other’s boundaries. Examples can be along the lines of reading body language before invading each other’s personal space, being a good listener, and avoiding certain psychological triggers.

When you take the time to set those boundaries, you curate a safe and loving space for each other based on mutual respect. The guy you are with will see you as a safe person, feel valued by you, and ultimately become more wanting to be with you.

Related reading: Boundaries in Relationships – Keeping Them Healthy

8. Take It Slow

No guy wants a female tornado. So if you want your guy to lose interest, it’s easy: just come on too strong too fast.

Rushing things is a perfect way to make your boyfriend run in the opposite direction. Frankly, he’ll be frightened and not flattered. Slow down – maybe that’s the only step you’re missing in making him obsessed with you.

Don't underestimate the power of your looks to make your man obsessed

9. Look Your Best

Cute clothes aren’t just for when you want to feel sexy. When a woman looks good, a man can’t help but notice the effort she put in. Sure, he might not be able to tell exactly what color lipstick you are wearing or that you used a different method for your eyeliner wings. However, all of the little things you have done add up – and he’ll definitely notice it.

Don’t be afraid to pull out that dress you didn’t wear for ages. If you wear it only for him and let him know about that, putting extra effort into looking good this night is bound to make your man obsessed with you. He’ll find himself running visuals of you in his head long after that date is over.

10. Enjoy Your Time Apart

You need to make a man see you have a life apart from him – so he can have his life. The lovely bonus is also that if you get out and spend time with friends or family or take part in volunteer activities, you won’t be obsessing about him so much.

Every solid relationship needs healthy time apart. Let him wonder what you are doing during that time – as we said, a little mystery always helps. The other thing? Participating in your own interests also makes you more interesting when you do get together.

Related reading: How To Maintain Your Individuality While In a Relationship

11. Show Him Your Appreciation

Appreciation goes without saying. When he does things for you, no matter how small, compliment him on his thoughtfulness or willingness to help.

Appreciate his effort whenever:

  • He pitches in to help one of your friends
  • He has shown a genuine interest in how your day went or a problem you are having at work
  • He has just been a good listener about a family issue

In short, always tell him thank you and give him a special hug and kiss. He’ll feel valued and appreciated this way.

12. Let Him Be His Own Man

If you want to make your boyfriend obsessed with you, it’s important to understand that he is his own person with his own interests. Like most guys, he wants to be able to pursue those interests and set you aside from time to time.

It’s not that you shouldn’t be the absolute center of his world. It’s more along the lines of you need to take turns with that center spot from time to time.

If you don’t allow him to be his own person and have a life or free time outside of you, his desire for you may go the opposite way, and you may find that your relationship starts to become unenjoyable for him.

It’s ok not to be together all the time. And, of course, it’s ok for you to have your own life as well. Everyone needs an independent life, even when they are in a relationship. So leave him be on occasion, and he will most likely appreciate that you feel comfortable with him doing his own thing.

Make your boyfriend obsessed with the real you

13. Add Some Adventure in the Bedroom

This is one of those areas where you can add some surprises that he’ll love and really remember. Think of new positions, add some toys, and bring your boyfriend to new heights of pleasure. Ask him about his fantasies and tell him yours. Then, try them out. You may very well leave your boyfriend totally obsessed with wanting much more as often as possible.

Related reading: Want Some Spice? Add a Sexual Surprise to Your Sex Life

14. Make Sure You Laugh Together

When you go out with your friends, you tell funny stories and jokes. And what’s good for your friends is also good for your relationship.

Here’s the thing. You know your friends’ sense of humor. Do you know your boyfriend’s? If not, you have a bit of experimenting to do:

  1. Tell him a funny story from work or a family gathering. See if he responds well.
  2. Ask him to share the funniest joke he remembers or his favorite memes.

Gradually, you’ll get to know what he finds funny, and you can make him laugh a lot. These are moments that will stick in his head, and he’ll smile just thinking about them when you’re apart. What’s more, he’ll want to spend more time with you to enjoy the laughter more.

15. Show Him Your Emotional Intelligence

“While being book-smart might help you pass tests, emotional intelligence prepares you for the real world by being aware of the feelings of others as well as your own feelings.”

Hannah Owens, LMSW

Check yourself on these areas of emotional intelligence (EQ):

  • Can you recognize the feelings of others and identify them?
  • Are you aware of your own strengths and weaknesses?
  • Do you accept yourself for who you are?
  • Can you leave your mistakes in the past?
  • Are you able to accept change as a normal part of life?
  • Are you empathetic, meaning putting yourself in another person’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective?
  • Do you hold yourself responsible for the mistakes you make?
  • Are you able to control your emotions when things get rough?

When you show your boyfriend these traits, he sees you as someone he wants to be with over the long haul. He sees you as kind and compassionate towards others, owning up to your mistakes without blaming them on others, and treating everyone with respect.

Don’t “fly off the handle” with emotional outbursts. Be the kind of girl he wants his family and friends to meet and get to know.

Is He Worth Being Obsessed With You?

In the play “Hamlet,” a famous line states, “To Thine Own Self Be True.” When you are obsessed with a man, it’s tempting to turn yourself into someone you aren’t, believing that’s who he wants you to be.

Don’t fool yourself. If you try to become someone you are not, and your relationship with this man becomes long-term, you will spend a lifetime being miserable and frustrated. If that’s your case, just move on and find a guy who thinks you are amazing the way you are.

Dating Tips Author
Shelly Standford
After a devastating relationship breakup, I threw myself into the dating scene by registering on Hily. I had over 100 dates - some absolute disasters, some pretty average, and some that were actually great. So many stories to tell and insights to share with you guys!

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