9 Signs She’s Losing Interest and Strategies on How to Win Her Back

Relationship Rules
24 Feb 2024
9 min read
9 Unfortunate Signs She's Losing Interest In You

You and your girlfriend used to be a happy couple. She used to spend all her free time with you, and you never got bored with each other. But recently, something has changed. Now, she doesn’t pay you as much attention as she used to — you are not her priority anymore. Is it one of the signs she’s losing interest? Let’s see!

Related reading: 16 Sure Signs Your Man Is Losing Interest

9 Unfortunate Signs She’s Losing Interest

Do you feel confused and frustrated and want to figure out what’s going on in your relationship? We know how to help you. Watch for the signs she’s losing interest in you. Once you find the root of the problem, you will be able to choose an effective strategy and get your relationship back on track.

1. She Leaves a Room to Take a Call

“Staggeringly, 98% of people who walk away from you when their phone rings do so because they’re going to be talking about you, and you can be sure it’s not going to be anything complimentary.”

John McIntyre, researcher

What does she do when her phone rings? Does she answer phone calls right away and talk while sitting next to you – or does she leave a room seeking some privacy?

If she doesn’t want you to hear her conversations, that’s a bad sign. There might be a couple of reasons why she behaves like this: she either talks about you (likely to complain about you to her female friends and family) or talks to someone she doesn’t want you to know (so maybe she’s losing interest in you because now she’s developing interest in someone else).

Note: That might be a third reason — she’s throwing a secret party in your honor (e.g., a birthday party, a graduation party, etc.). So don’t jump to conclusions that she’s cheating on you with other guys. If she’s doing such things, you have nothing to worry about regarding your relationships.

What to Do?

  1. Don’t touch her phone
  2. Don’t ask her questions like, “Who is calling you? Is it your friend?”

If you do these two things, she will see you as a jealous and controlling freak. It will not help you solve the issue; it will become another issue.

What should you do instead? Honest communication is a key that will solve your problem. If you want to figure out why she hides her phone from you, you should talk to her. Ask her whether she needs more privacy or is angry with you.

Sometimes, girls get angry with their men, and men have no idea about that. So you should better ask her whether you have made a mistake.

2. She Doesn’t Miss You Anymore

Most women text or call their boyfriends when they miss them. So the chances are your girlfriend was such a woman: she used to send you sweet “good night” messages and call you every day at lunchtime. But recently, you have noticed that she’s stopped doing these things. Now, you are always the one who initiates conversation.

This change is a warning sign — it signals that she is no longer interested in you. Your relationship has lost its romantic vibe, and you need to rekindle the spark.

What to Do?

Think about how you have changed the way you treat her. Let’s say you used to buy her flowers every other day, but now you buy her flowers once a month. The less you show her affection, the more she loses interest in you. If you want her to see you as a romantic partner, put your efforts into making her feel special.

3. She Tells You That She’s Busy

Does she say she is busy whenever you ask her for a date? Well, if she is actually busy because she works long shifts or is preparing for exams, you have nothing to blame her for. She’s working on achieving her career goals, and you, as a boyfriend, should understand and support her.

But if she keeps declining your invitations while having enough time to hang out with her friends and attend ceramics workshops, that’s a sign she’s losing interest in you. Most likely, she doesn’t value your relationship anymore. At this point, she’s already not afraid to lose you.

What to Do?

When you notice that your girlfriend is losing interest and have no idea why, you should consult a relationship coach. The expert will help you identify your mistakes and suggest ways to fix them.

4. She Cancels Plans Often

You ask her to be your “plus one” at your brother’s wedding, and she says, “Yes, I would be glad to accompany you.” Then, a week before the wedding, she says she can’t go because she is too busy with a work project and will be working all weekend.

What can be more irritating and frustrating than dating a girl who is always busy or agrees with your plans and then cancels them at the last minute? Most likely, she’s not that interested in you.

She tells you she will attend a sports match, and you buy the best tickets for her. The day before the game, she says she needs to visit her mom, who lives in another state, so she can’t go with you.

Does it sound like your girlfriend? Have similar situations ever happened to you? That is a big red flag that you shouldn’t ignore! This girl has lost interest and doesn’t care about you and your feelings. She doesn’t believe in your relationship and wants to break up.

What to Do?

First, you should answer the question, “Why do I want to share my life (or at least a part of it) with this girl? Why do I find her so attractive?” If you believe that she’s your soulmate, you should be ready for a challenge — it will be extremely difficult to rebuild your current relationships and bring them back to normal.

The chances are she’s dealing with some deeper issues and needs psychological help. If that’s the case, you can help her improve her self-esteem. Eventually, it will benefit your relationship.

She may cancel the wedding plans because she fears she is “not good enough” for you and doesn’t fit your family.

If most of your family are graduates of Harvard and Yale, she may feel ashamed for not having a degree.

5. She Doesn’t Talk About Your Future

Did you share with your girlfriend some ideas about what house you want to buy and what breed of dog you want to adopt? If she avoids discussing these topics with you, that is a clear sign that she is not ready to commit to you fully.

Here are some possible reasons why:

  • She probably has a negative past experience: she trusted someone, and they didn’t meet her expectations.
  • She may be no longer interested in being with you. She may not see you as a lifelong partner and not want to discuss the things and events that will never happen.

What to Do?

Don’t be pushy. Some people need more time to realize they are ready for a long-term relationship. So please don’t ask her questions about marriage, kids, etc. Otherwise, she may distance herself from you even more.

Start with less significant plans, like planning your first vacation as a couple.

Next time you watch a movie together, pay attention to the places that excite her. Let’s say you are watching a Japanese movie, and you notice that she’s genuinely amazed at the scenery. Say, “Wow, Japan is such a beautiful country. I want to visit it one day. By the way, you told me that you want to take days off in April. That’s just a perfect time to admire the cherry blossoms in Japan. Should we jump on this opportunity and explore one of the most magnificent places in the world together?”

Such a conversation will feel natural. Since you share a random idea with her, she will feel no pressure to make long-term plans. She will not be afraid to say no if she is not ready. Since this idea sounds exciting to her, she will keep thinking about it and probably agree to go on vacation with you.

6. You Don’t Spend Quality Time Together

Quality time is essential for building meaningful relationships. If Netflix and Chill is the only way you spend time with her, that might be a problem. If she doesn’t want to go on real dates and enjoy romantic dinners, that might be a sign she’s losing interest in you.

She has not yet decided to break up with you. She is still attached to you and satisfied with the physical relationship you have. But if you do nothing to win her heart back, she will fall in love with someone else.

Related reading: Quality Time – It’s a Love Language

What to Do?

Focus on reviving your relationship. Think about the activities or events that she has a genuine interest in. For example, you can buy tickets to her favorite Broadway show — she will not miss an opportunity to watch it. Once you enjoy this experience together, you will be able to connect on a deeper emotional level.

7. She Is Constantly in a Bad Mood

Does she look sad, and you can’t find a way to make her smile? Does she start arguing with you for no apparent reason? If she looks nothing like the woman you started dating, it’s a worrisome sign.

Maybe she behaves this way because she doesn’t get enough attention from you. Or perhaps she’s going through tough times in her life.

What to Do?

When have you noticed that she behaves differently? Do you remember that very moment? Think about the events that happened a week or a few weeks before.

If she got fired from work or her dog was diagnosed with an untreatable disease, that explains everything. She’s depressed, and that’s the reason why she doesn’t show interest in you.

Hormonal changes can also cause mood swings in women. So, if your girlfriend is in a bad mood occasionally, it’s not a problem at all.

8. You Can’t Reach a Compromise

No matter what topic you discuss, she doesn’t want to negotiate with you. Every time you start a conversation, you hope to reach a compromise, but it never happens. She always says that you are wrong and she is right.

Do you wonder why she wants it her way? She’s losing interest in you and believes your opinion is unimportant.

What to Do?

She is about to lose interest in you completely. Here, you have two options:

  1. You can do something that will impress her and make her see your value as a partner.
  2. You can say “goodbye” to her and find another girlfriend.

9. She Speaks Less Than Usual

Girls usually talk a lot when they feel comfortable being with someone. Chaty girls talk about things and topics that guys don’t want to hear, like bikini hair removal and sex with exes.

If your girl used to overshare information with you, but now she rarely initiates conversations, we have bad news for you: she has started to lose interest in you.

What to Do?

Have you ever spilled the bins after she told you to keep it a secret? If so, she probably doesn’t trust you anymore. You should apologize and promise her that it will never happen again.

6 signs she's losing interest but still wants want to be with you

6 Signs She Still Wants to Be With You

All people experience ups and downs in life. Maybe your woman is dealing with some challenges right now. If that’s the case, she hasn’t lost interest; she is just more focused on other things.

Here are the signs she still has feelings for you and there is nothing wrong with your relationship:

  1. She still notices the small things you do for her. For instance, if you send her flowers, she always calls you to say thank you.
  2. She gets jealous when other women try to steal your attention. Yep, jealousy can be a good sign.
  3. She shows you respect even when she disagrees with you.
  4. You are the person she calls in emergencies.
  5. You are still on the same page: you listen to the same music and read the same books.
  6. Her body language says she’s open to communication. She may find it difficult to find the right words and start a conversation with you, yet her body language never lies.

Watch for her pose, gestures, and facial expressions to better understand her intentions. For example, when she spreads her hands apart in front of her, with her palms facing slightly toward you, she shows her willingness to communicate.

When her losing interest in you has no future

9 Signs You Have No Future As a Couple

If your girlfriend is losing interest, it doesn’t necessarily mean you must put effort into saving this relationship. In some cases, you should split up for your own sake.

Watch for these signs when she’s losing interest. If you spot at least one red flag from this list, run away from this girl:

  1. She laughs at your future plans. She says you will never achieve what you want.
  2. She doesn’t include you in her plans anymore. She already knows that she doesn’t need you as a partner in her life.
  3. She spends more time with her friends than with you.
  4. She doesn’t mind you spending time with other women.
  5. You are the last person to know the important news (e.g., she’s bought a new car or found a new job).
  6. She doesn’t kiss you anymore.
  7. She’s losing interest in spending time together every single day. It seems like she can’t stand you.
  8. She doesn’t care about you, no matter how hard you try to make her interested.
  9. You already know she has an interest in another person.

Don’t be afraid to lose this girl. It’s not worth your effort to save this relationship. She is not the right partner for you. If you stay with her, you will not win.

Be Aware of the Signs She’s Losing Interest

Have you noticed any signs that she’s losing interest? Put your effort into fixing your relationship. Show her all your love and affection. The sooner you start working on the problem, the more likely you succeed.

Do you want this woman to become your life-long partner? You can make it happen. Make your relationship a priority and become the partner she dreams about so she can’t resist.

Relationships Author
Geoffrey Williams
After taking a required Intro to Psychology course as an undergrad, I have never looked back. Since my doctoral program, I have specialized in adult relationship therapy. Through my studies and clinicals, I wrote several articles for professional journals and currently in the midst of writing a book.
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